I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
