he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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