What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
