i was born a porn star she said
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
