he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
