the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Use "feeling words"
Yay
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
