so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
