just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
