so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
