Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
