What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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