maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
