You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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