im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
