P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
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Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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