I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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