he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
how drunk are you?
Several
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
