it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
