would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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