singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
