he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The best revenge is premature balding
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
