I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Where is the hickey?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
