just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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