I'm lost and stupid without you.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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