His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
