i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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