you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
