Nicole vs. Life
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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