3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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