After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize