Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
