I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
