I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
