Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize