I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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