Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I have aggressive nipples.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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