Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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