I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
