4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
