His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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