I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
