i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
