I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
