I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
