i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
