I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
