So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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