She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
