Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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