Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
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The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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