i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think people are normalizing furries
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
