would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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