Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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