My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize