"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
