This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
