Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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