he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
