you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize