hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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