He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
