I molested 6 butterflies tonight
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
