I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
