i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i out mim tonsoeep
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