just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
this boner is exhausting
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
